dilemma

my adult life has been devoid of changes.
it has been fairly constant and smooth-sailing (minus the losing of a loved one).
despite the occasional grousing, i have been contented.

so what happens when there appears to be an opportunity to inject some changes in my life?

with all the unknowns, should i or should i not?
try or not try?
yes or no?

if i give it a try, will it turn out to be good?
will i regret?

is this dilemma a problem? or a happy problem?

so many questions. no answers.
i need time to ponder.

and swimming begins from today

announcing the completion of my swimming gear collection!

venue: parkway parade
participants: dearest & myself
agenda: acquire swimming gear

mission accomplished!
my loots: arena swim wear – dark blue body with cobalt blue stripes, arena swim cap – dark blue & arena googles – black.
total damage: $89.95

happy happy happy!

so, when are we going swimming? tomorrow?

ps: bought the swim cap not because i’m acting pro but because i need to protect my scalp from the harmful chlorine. otherwise i will turn botak really soon.

pps: i don’t know how to put on the swim cap! and i resorted to searching for videos on youtube on “how to wear swim cap”. hahaha… and the best part is, i still don’t know how!

i am a spoilt brat

i was impatient towards dearest this morning.

he called me after his class 4 practical lesson and sounded very down. then he wanted to say something but stopped mid-way. so i asked him to complete his sentence. it was about some form to be filled in, which i guess he needed my help in. but i was clueless about it so i can’t help much. he continued to be down.

i didn’t understand why he was so down over the matter and tried to talk him out of it. but i was not using the right tone. so it pissed dearest even further. we kind of bickered a little. then i tried to give in and cheer him up. which didn’t work. we ended up ending the call rather coldly.

not sure what got into me but i was upset and sent him an sms saying that it was a bad start to the day (kind of implying that he spoilt my day). i was expecting him to be really angry with me after the sms. but after some time, he called me. and spoke nicely to me, explained the situation. and guess what? he apologized.

i am such a spoilt brat.

the whole thing was my fault really. i should have been patient with him. i should have remembered that men like to be left alone when they are down. i shouldn’t have kicked a fuss out of things. i was regretful after i sent the sms but dearest actually took the initiative to make peace. and apologized for something when he was not in the wrong.

sigh…
i don’t know what have gotten into me this morning. especially after i was thinking to myself how much i love dearest last night. it’s definitely not PMS but i feel moody this morning. i don’t want to make excuses myself but i suspect i was acting like this in the morning because i was stressed over work. yup, that must be the reason.

still, i am in the wrong.

to dearest: i’m sorry. you are the greatest ever boyfriend and i really do cherish you a lot. thank you for putting up with my nonsense from time to time. you know i don’t mean to be mean, right? you know i still love you more than anything else in the world right? i promise to be good. you promise to be patient with me always ok?

to self: stop being a spoilt brat! where else can you find such a wonderful man who takes care of you and dotes on you so much! better go and read “the chicken and the duck” and “the surrendered wife” asap!

and you know what? after the nonsense from me this morning, dearest is coming to pick me up from work and we are going to shop for swimming gear! see? i am truly blessed. and i should never take it for granted.

dearest, spoilt brat says sorry, and love you forever. thank you for loving me.