i’m back

i’m sorry i haven’t blogged for a few days!
the week has been a blur with many activities lined up…

so on sat dearest woke me up to bring me for good old breakfast at CMC and then i accompanied dearest to njc for a soccer frenly. then i went for a class gathering – DHS 4K! and we had crazy fun playing wii & texas holdem all the way till 3am!

on sunday we skipped our usual badminton session and instead joined a silly young crowd togetehr with Tracy at the central, queuing for MayDay concert tickets. it was an experience – something which we hope we wouldn’t have to experience again. number tags were supposed to be issued at 11am, tickets issued at 2pm. we reached there at 9.30am and the crowd was already very huge. so we had to brave the hot sun and waited for 4 to 5 hours for the tickets.

the concert will be held on 4th Jan, and we will have to queue again (for good positions – can’t say seats cos it’s ‘free standing’, not free seating). argh… why can’t MayDay just SELL the tickets? i’ll gladly pay for them… haha

after getting the tickets, it was queensway then sunshine plaza then bugis junction… and finally? back to jackson’s home – for a game of texas hold’em, followed by MAHJONG! hahaha… dearest decided to pick up mahjong and so i am also learning along…

on monday, i called in sick due to sore eyes and slept the whole day. basically wasted the day away and the only thing i gained was lighter dark circles…

on tuesday, i was on leave and joined dearest, alfred & nicholas for lunch. after lunch, guess where we went? to alfred’s house… for… a game of mahjong! haha… then we rushed off to sengkang for badminton.

oh, badminton was interesting that night. because dearest suggested to switch partners, so dearest and sheena played as a team and competed against jackson & i. it was really awkward for me cos i wasn’t sure how to pair up with jackson. but it was great fun cos the game became so much competitive and we are jeering at each other. and the result? jackson & i won 3 games! woohoo! and the best thing was, dearest actually complimented me and said that for the first time, he realises that i actually play quite well! *proud* LOL

and finally, guess what we did after badminton (which ended at 9 plus)? we went to nicholas’ house. to play texas hold’em.

so ahem… towards the end of 2008, i declare that both keith & kerensa have been upgraded to ‘gamblers’!

an unlucky night

so i attended a colleague’s wedding dinner earlier. the venue is orchid country club.

we sat down at our table, alice on my left, jason on my right. jason asked if we want red wine and i said yes. then the waitress came by to take our orders for drinks. the young indian girl repeated after mik “coke HAR?”

mik and i looked at each other, and had a slightly bad impression of the waitress.

moments later, the waitress served us our drinks. and the outside of my glass was stained with small droplets of red wine. while wiping them off with my napkin, i commented to jason that their service wasn’t really good and these red wine could have dripped on my dress.

when we were having our second dish, jason asked for a 2nd glass of red wine (i’ve only had 2 sips from mine so far). the indian waitress served the red wine, and in a split second, i saw another glass of red wine topple over from her tray.

AND THEN I HAVE RED WINE SPILL OVER MY DRESS!!!

damn it, and i let out a small shout which attracted the attention of the 4 or 5 tables surrounding me.

i felt like scolding the waitress, but she’s just a young gal (maybe 19/20?). so i got up to the washroom instead. the waitress mumbled sorry and ran off to put down her tray and i saw another waiter running out saying that he’s going to bring wet tissue.

hello? do you think wet tissue can wipe away red wine? it probably can’t wipe away orange juice, let alone red wine…

so there i was, at the wash basin, with one side of my dress lifted up and placed under running water. didn’t help at all.

then the indian gal came into the toilet with a jug of sparkling water – soda water she says… and started to drench my dress with soda water and scrubbing the stains away. 10 min later another lady (possibly PR) came in to check on the progress and concluded that the soda water isn’t going to help much.

in the end, i resorted to wearing alice’s dress (which she had worn in the day before changing into her evening dress) and have the OCC wash my dress and deliver it to my home another day.

throughout the whole time, the indian waitress apologized a few times. it didn’t sound very apologetic, but each time i told her it’s ok. in the end, i even asked her to go back to work but she said she had to wait for the lady (who had left to find a shawl for me). while we were all in the toilet waiting, the indian waitress started crying.

sigh… shouldn’t i be the to cry? my dress is ruined and i missed a good half hour of the dinner. and i didn’t raise my voice or blame her at all. so why cry? later others think i bully her.

what a sway night right? in the end, i even had to tell the lady to comfort the indian waitress, that it’s ok. ????

the lady took my address and phone number – she’s going to send my dress for laundry and deliver it to my house, and if the dress cannot be salvaged, i will be compensated. so now, let’s see how OCC will deal with this eventually. i do hope the dress can be cleaned and i’m expecting them to do some other compensation as well. given that i didn’t give them a hard time for making such a big mistake, they better do a solid service recovery!

let’s wait and see.

in the meantime, no more red wine for me. white wine will be better because it won’t leave behind a bad stain. HAHA…

so sway!!

tis e season to be jolly

lalalalala lalalala~~~

and so we sang along as we walked from the void deck of jackson’s home to our car. not before exchanging xmas presents with sheena & jackson!

we don’t celebrate xmas. in fact, i dislike crowds so i will avoid places like orchard where at the stroke of midnight, overzealous strangers will spray white foam at other strangers. *duh*

but i kinda enjoy buying presents for friends. it can be a real headache at first, but when you finally decide on the present, the joy and satisfaction is great!

presenting my xmas presents from frens…

but before that… a quick vain picture of alice & me… hehehe

and now the presents proper…

all the presents are so lovely…
i’ve been having a little interest in new scents lately and sheena got me envy me, a scent which both dearest and i like! the series of 5 books are specifically requested by me, and the lovely ckc book was something phyllis and i chanced on when we were shopping for each other’s presents. the book reminds me of ben ben… and dearest’s sister bought me a present too! it’s a huge soup bowl with a huge spoon! so sweet…. i think i’m going to use it to eat cornflakes…
and of cos, all the other sweet presents from jackie (crystal earrings & necklace), alice (PM jewellery box) and judy (bodyshop shower gels).

so… where’s my present from dearest?

i kept telling dearest there is no need to buy anything for me because i have nothing in mind that i wanted. but i was planning to buy something for him if i can find something that he would like. but then dearest said the sweetest thing to me: “let’s not waste money on presents for each other. we should be starting to save up for our wedding”. and my heart melted and felt all warm and fuzzy. yipppeee….

but… to make up for the lack of presents, we are going to batam tomorrow! i’m so touched that dearest actually planned for the trip and made all the arrangements. we are going pak-tor-ing tomorrow!

merry christmas everybody! have lots of fun & laughter!!!

Love is in the Air

LOVE is when dearest tries to bring me to Fish & Co because i enjoy the rice there, even when he doesn’t really like the food.

LOVE is when dearest is not shy to give me plentiful hugs and steal little kisses in his friends’ presence.

LOVE is when i have complete faith and trust in dearest and told him so, and in response he is thankful for my constant support.

LOVE is when dearest pauses, looks at me tenderly in the eyes and goes ‘i love you baby’.

LOVE is when dearest makes plans to bring me out of singapore, even if it’s just to batam.

and most importantly,

LOVE is when dearest ferries me to and fro everywhere i go because he wants to be there for me always. this includes sending me to driving lessons, cramped up in his car and waiting for me for 1.5 hours, and then bringing an umbrella to shelter me from the heavy rain and ended up getting wet himself.

that’s why i’ve been a really smiley girl lately and dearest can sense it.
all because LOVE is in the air…

Angel

one of my fav english songs, and one of the rare english songs which i can sing fairly ok and not turn it into a hokkien-sounding song.

absolutely love the “soulfulness” of the song.

first heard the song by Freya Lin Fan, and later Westlife. Original singer is Sarah McLachlan. Beautiful voice…

enjoy…

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance,
for a break that would make it okay.

There’s always some reason
to feel not good enough,
and it’s hard, at the end of the day.

I need some distraction,
Oh, beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins.

Let me be empty,
Oh, and weightless,
And maybe I’ll find some peace tonight.

CHORUS:
In the arms of the angel,
fly away from here,
from this dark, cold hotel room,
and the endlessness that you feel.

You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your silent reverie.
You’re in the arms of the angel,
may you find some comfort here.

So tired of the straight line,
and everywhere you turn,
there’s vultures and thieves at your back.

The storm keeps on twisting.
Keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack.

Don’t make no difference,
escape one last time.
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness,
Oh, this glorious sadness,
that brings me to my knees.

REPEAT CHORUS

You’re in the arms of the angel,
may you find some comfort here.

thai-style bbq/steamboat

it’s friday!
went to meet dearest at his school because he said he’ll be bringing me out for dinner with alfred and nicholas before i go for my long-awaited driving lesson.

guess where we went for dinner?
golden mile complex! little thailand…
and we had thai style bbq cum steamboat! yummy…

the shop is really small, called “new udon thai food”. but it gets pretty crowded. everyone’s there for their bbq though they do serve other cooked food (i think… cos we saw them serve grilled sotong).

this is what we ordered. basically you just say “1 set” and they will bring this out. for normal eaters, i’ll say this is sufficient for 3 pax. if there are girls who are relatively smaller eaters, 1 set is good for 4 pax.

the bbq/steamboat cooks using charcoal and the charcoal is placed underneath the ’sphere-like’ thing.

the pale pinkest stuff is fatty pork belly, which you bbq to create oil to cook the other food.

cooking in process – with all the meaty stuff place on the sphere to be bbq-ed. around the sphere is the soup base for steamboat.

finally, with all the other ingredients cooking in the soup

how? interesting? it was quite an eye opener for me. mind you, if you are like real hungry, don’t think of having this to fill your stomach. not because the food is not enough, but it takes a really long time to cook the food, especially at the beginning. i’m not complaining because it’s quite fun to see the guys turn the meat around and prevent it from falling off the sphere. but i have to warn you because if you are the impatient sort, this is not for you.

because the meat is bbq-ed using charcoal, it has this very fragrant taste to it. while each type of meat tastes differently in texture, they all remind us of bbq sliced pork (肉干). my favorite is the pork liver – it tastes quite special!

the soup and other ingredients are nice too though they also take a fairly long time to cook. and strangely, even the rice is nice! usually we take rice for granted and won’t comment on it (unless it’s really bad), right? but both dearest and i said that we enjoy the rice.

and what’s the best thing? it’s cheap!

vege, meat, seafood, egg, tang hoon, golden mushroom, fishballs, etc etc, enough to feed 3 to 4 pax, for…… S$34! plus 1 bottle of heineken and 2 cans of soft drinks. and 3 rice. total bill came up to S$44. so each of us paid only S$11. cheap right…

sheena, during the dinner we kept saying we think you and js will love it… we’ll bring you there soon!

甘願

i had wanted to have a relaxed night – no internet, just good old tv and an early sleep.

but 林芯仪 from 星光3 sang this song and i instantly felt so compelled to put up the MV. the song simply touches me SOOOO much…

愛你好像半暝啊坐火車啊
夢搖來搖去心驚惶
睡了一下驚醒一下
瞇眼看窗外到了哪

你的愛就像星辰
偶爾很亮　偶爾很暗
我不盼絢麗的燦爛
只求微光能擋風寒

是甘願也就不怕難
不甘願早放聲哭喊
我要你　別的都不管
倔強變勇敢　茫然變釋然

是甘願所以能美滿
不甘願才會說傷感
我愛你　心就特別軟
平淡也浪漫　無語也溫暖

all i think about when i listen to this song is my dearest, and my love for him. and then it hits me, that i truly love him with all my heart and soul.

是甘愿也就不怕难， 是甘愿所以能美满
我爱你别的都不管， 我爱你心就特别软
平淡也浪漫， 无语也温暖

baby, i love you. and nothing else matters…

it’s the holidays soon!

these couple of weeks have been a blur with concert, movies, badminton, birthday parties, catch-up dinners with friends and ex-colleagues, facial, xmas shopping etc etc. yeah! it’s the xmas season again – this means holidays and presents… yippee…

right now, i have the urge to share this quote (from jaslyn) on men & love:

If he doesn’t love u the way you want him to, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you with all he has

how true…
sometimes we girls just expect too much from our boyfriends, no?
i say, as long as we can sense the love, we should cut them some slack.

anyway, i’m getting a little overly excited about who to invite and the seating arrangements for my wedding dinner, hahahaha… even when there is no proposal yet.
it’s ok, something for me to daydream about when i’m bored… helps me waste some idle time…
i thought if i start planning now, i won’t miss out any friends when it comes to the actual planning

oh no, my dearest is going to freak out when he sees this…
my dearest, it’s just for fun ok… no stress no stress…

i heart andy lau

finally i can blog about this! i’ve been dying to blog that i’m going to see andy lau in concert since like more than 3 months ago but i can’t! all because jackson wants to give his dear sheena a surprise.

and i tell you, i’ve been to several concerts (jay, mayday, show, a-mei, etc) but this one is THE BEST! and he is not even my idol. i mean, i like andy lau cos he is so handsome and full of charm, but i’m not like his die-hard fans and won’t buy his albums or anything like that. and his concert is not the ultra-high kind (like mayday) where you would stand and jump throughout the concert but we loved it! because you can see his efforts. apart from the songs and costumes, there’s different types of dances with complicated choreography, there’s musicals, he flies in the air, there’s fireworks, there’s ‘magic’, there’s tears, laughter, screams. WOW.

ok, enough of my boring words. let’s see the pictures…

princess me

out of the blue dearest said this to sheena & jackson:

D: *semi-hugs me* do you know that she is my princess?
K: *feels shiok for a nano-second*
D: she’s my princess cellulite

ARGH!
LOL….

最幸福的事

my favorite 星光2班 contestant – 梁文音 and her new song 最幸福的事
it’s not a particularly catchy song, probably not a KTV hit but you will begin to love it after hearing a few times.
meaningful and emotive lyrics, with an even more powerful MV.
this MV is longer than the actual song itself – be patient and watch it all.

“爸爸，妈妈，能成为你们的女儿，是我最幸福的事”

你撐著雨傘 接我那次
已經足夠我 記得一輩子
我懂後來你 不是不堅持
愛情本來就 沒萬無一失

淚水離開了 你的手指
那不如讓它 留在這信紙
我想女孩子 最貼心的是
讓愛的人選 結束的方式

我最幸福的事 當過你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩飾 讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢
為摯愛的人 在左邊心口保留位置 是最幸福的事

可惜愛不是 童話故事
不能夠永遠 依賴著王子
再難過其實 只剩兩個字
我怎麼忍心 為難你解釋

我最幸福的事 當過你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩飾 讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢
為摯愛的人 在左邊心口保留位置 是最幸福的事

那一陣子有你 美得不像現實
多高興每一幕都微笑著靜止

我最幸福的事 牽著你的日子
一段愛從開始 即使分開我們都對彼此誠實
最幸福的事 對那片海用力大喊永遠的樣子
想得起那時 那天和你傻笑著認識 是最幸福的事

亲爱的，能与你相遇并一同编织这么多美丽的回忆，是我这辈子最幸福的事

peaceful

am feeling really peaceful these few days. and the result is contentment & happiness.

peacefulness is when ben & jia give a good lick all over me to welcome me home
peacefulness is when i hear of good (future) news from beloved friends (yeah, sheena i’m referring to you)
peacefulness is when the weekend is spent with dearest and his sister and 3 of us can chat & joke lots
peacefulness is when i hear of marriage plans for my dear cousin

peacefulness is when dearest brings me out to run errands without any complaints
peacefulness is when dearest asks me to take a nap while he drives even when he is as tired as me
peacefulness is when dearest looks at me tenderly and whispers “i love you baby”
peacefulness is when dearest plants a light peck on my forehead, then cheek, then nose

peacefulness is when dearest goes away for an outing without me and i do not feel neglected
peacefulness is when dearest fetches his female friends in his car and i feel neutral
peacefulness is when i take a walk leisurely and window shop alone without feeling lonely
peacefulness is when i settle in bed watching variety shows and LOL-ing

peacefulness is when it is sunday night and tomorrow is NOT a working day!!!
hip hip hooray!

i feel peaceful. and i’m happy.
how about you?

something to cry for

i guess most of us know that crying is beneficial to health in some way. i’ve always thought that crying helps to release pent-up emotions within us and is therefore good for our mental health.

today, i discovered something else…

and i want to share this with all my friends and especially dearest (you must read ok!), jaslyn and jackie.

One amazing discovery is that tear production may actually be a way to aid a person to deal with emotional problems. Scientific studies have found that after crying, people actually do feel better, both physically and physiologically—and they feel worse by suppressing their tears.

Researcher William Frey found that stress-induced tears actually remove toxic ‘substances’ from the body. Volunteers were led to cry first from watching sad movies, and then from freshly cut onions. The researchers found that the tears from the movies, called emotional tears, contained far more toxic biological byproducts. Weeping, they concluded, is an excretory process which removes toxic substances that normally build up during emotional stress.

The researchers concluded that chemicals built up by the body during stress were removed by tears, which actually lowered stress.

Suppressing tears increases stress levels, and contributes to diseases aggravated by stress, such as high blood pressure, heart problems and peptic ulcers.

click here for full article

crying is actually good for physical health too!

so dearest, i’m being a good gal when i cry because i’m taking care of myself by flushing toxins out from my body. crying gives me a healthy body and mind! after crying, i should feel happier and you will see a smiley girlfriend in no time! so don’t blame me for crying anymore okie!

so jaslyn & jackie, crying helps. don’t feel too guilty about it! and share this with your other halves so that they will understand better.

and jaslyn, since crying is such a good exercise, i’ll write more emo stuff and lend you emo books so that you can cry everyday ok. see, where can you find such a good friend? HAHAHA… *evil*

somber thoughts

the fortune teller shifu says dearest and i are not advised to attend wakes and funerals. while we believes his readings, we make exceptions for this advice, especially when it (unfortunately) concerns our closest friends.

jackson’s dad passed away on tuesday. anyone’s passing away is a tragic news. but when it happens to an immediate relative (parents or siblings) of a close friend, it is painful – especially when the friend is still young.

and it saddens me especially because i have once been in the same situation as jackson, losing a parent to illness at a relatively young age.

dearest and i went to the wake last evening. when sheena recalled the last few moments of jackson’s dad’s life and how jackson reacted when he had to speak to his dad as part of the rituals, i had to swallow back my own tears. i looked away from sheena and managed to compose myself. the memories just came flooding back. PAINFUL.

it was a buddhist wake, not the taoist ones which i am unfortunately familiar with (did a quick count and i have been ‘directly involved’ in 5 funerals already), so there was not much to help out with. but to show our support, we stayed till close to midnight and during those hours, i had the time to recall some of the memories.

 

1994 – paternal grandma

i remember my parents rushed out from home when they received news that my grandma has passed away. left me all alone at home. i’ve never had to deal with the loss of a loved one before and i wasn’t sure what to expect. so i called a friend and chatted with her, and cried throughout the conversation.

as with most wakes, the 5 days brought the family closer.
my uncle used to be involved in a gang and one night, he brought like 50+ ‘brothers’ to the wake and all of them paid respect to my grandma simultaneously. it’s like a scene out of the HK 古惑仔 movies.

 

2001 – maternal grandma

my mum was already ill with stroke and bedridden then and have only visted my grandma once when she was frailing away in a hospice. when i broke the news to my mum, she cried terribly. but because of her condition, we didn’t allow her to attend the wake which is very far away at thomson.

each morning i would wake up at 5+am, feed and change my mum, and take the bus to thomson, reaching there around 7+am. and stayed till close to midnight and take a cab home. and then my mum would stay home and cry while my dad tried his best to console her.

years later, it dawned on me that my ex-boyfriend never came down to the wake to pay his respects. i should have seen it then that he wasn’t the right one.

on one of the nights, there was a ritual where the priest would chant some prayers and part of the content was about how a woman painstakingly bear a child within her body for 9 months. all of the family members were sitting down on the mat and then my uncle, the one who used to stay with my grandma cos he is single, bent over and started sobbing.

how my heart ached when i saw that. my uncle is someone who doesn’t display his emotions much. we know he cares for the family but he has never ever shown any display of weakness or affection. but to see him cry like that, not just tears flowing down the cheeks, but heart-wrenching and uncontrollably sobs…. argh…

 

2002 – maternal grandpa (biological)

while i do not know my real maternal grandpa really well, i felt i had to be around to do my ‘filial’ duties. given that the wake was a 10 min walk from my home, i attended it everyday from morning to night without fail. this is a wake both of sadness and happiness because this is where fate brought me together with dearest.

it was a tiring 5 days full of work – attending to friends of relatives, clearing the tables, folding incense paper, buring incense paper, kneeling etc etc – because the family knew so many friends and also requested for so many rituals.

and there are videos and pictures for keepsake as well.

 

2004 – mum

i’ve said a lot about how i felt about my mum before and i think loved ones around me are sick of hearing it sometimes. it’s not that i want to live in the past but sometimes a part of me worry that if i don’t think about it, don’t talk about it every now and then, i will forget the memories really quickly, and then what am i left with? i regretted that i didn’t request for a video shoot of the entire process.

i cried when mum took her last breath, cried when i ‘helped’ to dress her, cried after she was placed in the coffin, cried when my auntie cried… but when the friends and colleagues are around, i never shed a tear. some colleagues have commented that i seemed cold but hey, you are not me, how would you know how i felt?

but frankly, after a while, you run out of tears. you look into the coffin and talk to her, your mind wonders when you lay down to take a nap beside the coffin, but the tears won’t come.

on the day of the funeral, when the priest told us to turn away from the coffin so that they can close the display of the coffin, i turned into the warm embrace of mum’s friend and wailed uncontrollably, sobbing that i’ve lost my mum. it’s strange how the subconcious mind works.

 

i’m logical enough to understand that everyone leaves the world someday – some earlier, some later. i know my dad will leave me one day too but it’s such a dread to have to face that day.

daddy: i hope you will stay healthy and see me through my marriage, your first grand-child, second grand-child (and more?), and even your first great-grand-child!

 

in the meantime, dearest and i will be with jackson and sheena to provide moral support and any help they need… that’s what friends are for.

a ful-”filling” start to the weekend!

a couple of weeks ago this conservation took place between me and daddy:

D: why are you still at home, can go to work so late?
K: today my company is announcing retrenchment namelist.
D: oh, will you be affected?
K: nope! *confidently*
D: aye seh! (in hokkien)

LOL. isn’t my daddy funny? i was very amused by his reaction. me and daddy is always like that, talking like friends.

on friday, i took half day leave and when i reached home:

D: take half day again ah? you not worried you will get retrenched ah?
K: aiyah, won’t one lar…
D: hng! (basically he thinks i’m too full of myself. LOL)

moments later…
D: you waste money ah… always take leave to come home and sleep.

well, the truth is, i took leave so that i can doll up and join dearest and his friends for a sumptuous buffet dinner at Ritz Carlton. it’s a pre-celebration for Alfred’s birthday.

it’s a pretty pricey dinner @ $76 nett after 10% discount with HSBC credit card. but it’s got a good spread of seafood.

now… let the pictures do the talking…

don’t you absolutely love the seafood spread? there’s actually a lot more variety than this but i didn’t try them because i wanted to save the stomach room for seafood and seafood and more seafood! love the oysters and flower crab! yummy! and the desserts were not bad too. but we had too much seafood and couldn’t fully enjoy the desserts. oh, and the shitty looking thing is tiramisu… my FAV!

throughout the dinner, all of took many photos… some decent, some really cheeky!

couple #1

couple #2

getting all excited before the feast starts

 and now… some silly antics during half-time

the gay pose

i’m gonna kill you

let’s kiss and make up

hi… see we sooo cute?

alfred say: hng… i can also be very cute

sexy!

and i’m the little bunny….

eeeww… so gross i dun wan to see!

YES! we have finally conquered everything!

 

and now… the main ‘attraction’ of the day:complimentary cake from Ritz Carlton

*i wish i find a pretty girlfriend soon…*

and that’s the end of our wonderful buffet dinner.
you won’t believe how many tables are celebrating birthdays! one after another, the different shapes, sizes and flavours of cakes just keep being dished out from the kitchen. every 5 to 10 mins, the live music will play the birthday song. strange.

and soo… it’s the xmas season again! so how can we not take pictures with the xmas tree?! haha

and yup.. that’s it…
straight after dinner, the dearest ran off to the loo… haha… ate too much.
and for me, i didn’t sleep well the whole night because i woke up every hour to pee!
i didn’t know that eating seafood will increase urine amount!
no more buffet for me for a long time….